First day of school!

Ready to go!

Well, we survived.

The first day of kindergarten came and went, and I didn't even cry.

After kindergarten orientation last Thursday, I was less than impressed with the school, the teachers, the other parents...and because I would die before admitting that I was sad/scared/normal, I got pissy. "This is dumb," I kept repeating, when the teachers bypassed Ella for the kid behind her, or when we got stuck behind "allergy-parents" for 15 minutes while waiting to hand in our paperwork, and again when there wasn't enough room on the bus for Kat to ride around the block with Ella.

"Can't we school-choice her back to North Brookfield?" I whined, after noticing that perhaps the teachers weren't meeting our eyes as we proudly each held one of Ella's hands, reminding them that yes, they did in fact have a child with TWO moms, and no, it wasn't just a typo.

"Umm, we're in the wrong roles," Kat whispered. "You're supposed to be reassuring me." It's true...I'm usually the stoic one, the harder, sharper one who doesn't get sappy.

The weekend came and went, and last night we picked out clothes and made sure her take-home folder was all set, and this morning, I left for my own first day of school before the kids were even fully dressed. I gave her a couple extra hugs and then headed out the door. They waved and called to me from the bedroom window as I left, and that was that. 

Of course, my first free second I called Kat, and of course, everything was fine. She got on the bus like a pro, and the only person who cried was Ben, as he tried to chase the bus. (Then again, Ben cries when the waitress takes away the dinner plates, so maybe he's just a big cheez-ball. And yes, I meant "cheeZ".) 

When I got home, I went into Ella's room and asked her, "so, how did it go?"
E: (hiding under the covers) "I don't want to talk about it."
H: "Seriously?"
E: (leaping out of bed) "It was GREEEAAAA-TTTT" (think Tony the Tiger)


Apparently, it was great. I have a pre-teen on my hands, one who refuses to give the kind of answers we want--the fly-on-the-wall details were not going to happen. I think she answered every single question we asked with, "it was greeaaaaaaat!" and a big leap across the room, which for Ella, means she loved it, and she wants to go back.
Tomorrow: the first hot-lunch adventure.

Letter to the teacher.

So, Ella's school encourages parents to write a letter to their child's new teacher, describing the child and sharing relevant information, etc.

I have been agonizing over what to write...I don't want to be "that" parent...you know, the one who comes off obnoxious and overbearing.

This is what I WANT to write:

Dear Teacher,

First of all, Ella has two moms. This shouldn't be a big deal, but I'm sure it will bring up issues or questions at some point during the school year. Already, Ella is concerned about what her classmates will think, and we've had several discussions about how to respond to questions and comments. Other than that small detail, we lead a pretty "normal" life--we are both teachers, we live in a house, make chicken for dinner once a week, and take our trash to the dump on Saturdays. Right now Ella considers herself "lucky" to have two moms, and we hope that the transition into public school doesn't cause her to feel otherwise.

Ella is a funny, precocious little girl who "gets" sarcasm and loves to tell jokes. She has a great sense of humor but doesn't use it to make fun of anyone or to be mean.  She often is the champion to the underdogs and has a strong sense of what is "right" and "wrong".  She can be intensely shy when she is in new situations, but once she gets comfortable, she can be hard to quiet down.  She is sensitive and quick to cry or get angry when something is new or intense, and usually will come around on her own if given some space and time. Pushing her to make a decision usually prolongs the process.

Ella has a quick mind, especially when it comes to math.  She can do double-digit addition in her head and seems to have a real knack for numbers.  She tends to resist reading but within the past few weeks has really started to recognize words and text.  She's good at making connections to text and inferring what will happen when reading a story, and loves listening to chapter books, but seems to consider picture books "babyish". (This is probably our fault, since we read all the Junie B. books to her when she was four...) When it comes to "seatwork" Ella tends to rush through things and can be impatient.

Ella's body is not as quick as her mind...she can only be described as "clumsy" or perhaps "spatially inept".  Her gross motor skills are a bit weak, and she's more likely than not to walk into desks, walls, chairs, etc.  Lately, she's been into dancing around the house/rolling around on the floor doing "ath-aerobics" (a combination of athletics and aerobics--her word, not ours), which can be dangerous for all involved and requires wide-open spaces. She has trouble staying in her seat and Miss Nancy (her pre-school teacher) was working with Ella to sit straight in her chair with feet on the floor during seatwork and lunchtime. Ella has a huge and varied vocabulary, but seems to have some speech issues that we would love to get some input from you on.  Both our pediatrician and Ella's pre-school teachers have voiced concerns about her speech, but because we moved to Barre in March, it was recommended that we wait until the start of the new school year to pursue the issue.

Socially, Ella is very aware of people's reactions to her, especially other children. Although she wants to hang out with the "cool" kids, she won't do so at the expense of others.  We've had a lot of conversations about bullying and how to deal with friends when people are being mean. She doesn't tend to follow the crowd but would rather play alone if she doesn't want to do what the other kids are doing.  She is cautious when it comes to trying new things, but works hard once she's committed to something. (Right now, she is desperate to get across the monkey bars, but also incredibly nervous.)  She will talk your ear off (or anyone around who might be listening) once she feels comfortable!

Good luck! She's unique...she's going to enchant you and baffle you and drive you nuts, probably several times in the same day.  Please call us or email us with any questions or concerns or funny stories from your days with her...

Take care,

Hannah and Katherine Thompson

Hmmm....
Maybe I've done it?

Thoughts? Am I too over-the-top??

Down. In. The. Dumps.

Lately, I've been emotionally trigger-happy...but not in a happy sort of way.  All kinds of things are making me sad, or angry, or anxious...

So I thought if I made a list of everything I can think of that SUCKS, that it might help. [Be forewarned, some of these things are really sucky and me writing them doesn't necessarily mean they are true, just that they suck.]

Here goes, in no particular order:

• having to close all the windows on a very humid, muggy day
• not being invited to weddings
• feeling like an outsider in my own community
• your mom posting on facebook that she is a loser
• your daughter cutting off all of her hair after 18 months of growing it out after the last haircut
• heroin addicts
• going back to school before everyone else in your house
• overdue credit card bills
• overdue babies
• hurricanes that keep you from meeting babies
• dead wii remote batteries
• redbox fees
• slow internet
• the song "If I die young" by The Band Perry
• ebay addictions
• seven sucky letters in "words with friends"
• seven great letters and no place to put them in "words with friends"
• being rational enough not to cut because it's too hot for long sleeves
• being irrational enough to consider cutting after 3 years
• feeling like I'm too old for the VMAs
• not being able to see your kid off on her first day of kindergarten
• your kid telling you "I'm going to kill you someday"
• not being able to get pregnant
• suffering from "battered women's syndrome"
• eating an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream
• dehydration
• divorce via text message
• worrying about losing family members to death
• favorite pants that just aren't going to fit, no matter how hard you try
• wrinkles (in clothes AND skin)
• breast cancer
• all cancer
• holes in brand new socks
• sad, stupid movies that make you cry
• new underwear that doesn't fit (it's not like you can try it on in the store!)
• Voldemort
• friends who slack on their on-line scrabble games
• hemorrhoids
• being referred to as a "chick" by your brother-in-law
• being ignored by your kid's kindergarten teacher
• severe nut allergies

Okay, this is horrible....just writing it has made think of a few good things that I'll leave you with.

• Lady Gaga
• new babies
• big-boy haircuts
• the excitement of the first day of school
• sleeping in until 9
• Ben knowing the words to "Tonight, Tonight" by Hot Chelle Rae
• seeing Mom in six days
• my brother-in-law apologizing for calling me a "chick" (after I retaliated by calling him a "breeder" which might be worse, actually...
• Nutella
• Scary Mommy, DYAC, and FML posts, which make my life seem almost normal...
• early bedtimes
• new clothes
• fountain drinks
• blogs!

Things that make you go ewwwww.

My daughter has her first loose tooth.

GROSS.

It's funny, actually. A friend posted on facebook the other day that her daughter had lost her second tooth, and I stopped and thought, "wait, she's younger than Ella, and Ella hasn't lost any teeth yet!"

This is how my life works...a couple days later...BAM! Ella has an actual loose tooth. (It's the right tooth in the bottom middle, just in case you wonder about those things.) I say "actual" because last year, when a few of her pre-school friends were losing teeth, we had a lot of "pretend" loose teeth.

But no, I felt it. It's DEFINITELY loose.

It started in the car on the way home from Pop's house.
Ella: "Mom, my tooth hurts. I think it might be loose."
Kat: "Sure, honey, we'll check it out when we get home." (eye roll)

Then, during her shower:
Kat: "Let's check out that tooth. OH MY GOD...it really is loose!"
Ella: "I know, I'm so excited!"
Kat: "Mommy is going to be sooo grossed out."
Ella: "Let's go show her!"
(Me, downstairs: "NO THANKS!!!")

Yep.

I went to college to be an elementary school teacher. I changed my major to secondary education (specifically middle school) for two reasons:

NO snow pants and NO LOOSE TEETH.

I can deal with poop and vomit.  Cat vomit on the floor? No problem, hand over the paper towels and I'll scoop it up.  Overflowing toilet? Give me the plunger. Baby mouse limping around the kitchen after the cats have played with it? I'd love to help you out and grab it by the tail and toss it out in the bushes.The cat sitter flushed all the non-flushable litter and blocked up the pot? Sure, I'll sit on the floor and scoop out nasty 2-week-old clay from the icy water. Kid poops in the tub? No biggie, I'll just pluck it out with some Lysol wipes.

(Don't worry, I always wash my hands afterwards....)

Kid has a loose tooth? My gag reflex kicks in immediately (it's even happening as I type, much to my dismay) and I'm all tucked up shoulders and eyes squeezed shut, one dry-heave away from losing my lunch.

When I was an aquatics director and spent most of my day teaching swim lessons, my mid-age kids loved to show me their loose teeth, and I'd gag and squeal and hide my face. Then the 45 minutes would pass and they'd go on their way, to lose said teeth at school or at dinner or swallow them in their sleep.

Last year, I had a couple 7th graders lose teeth in my class, and I'd gag and squeal and rush them off to the nurse's office and that would be that.

But my own daughter....I'm going to have to watch that tooth get looser and looser, until it's hanging by a thread at a funny angle, and she pushes it around  with her tongue, and GOD FORBID if the frigging thing decides to come out when Kat's not home!!! This is just the first one....how am I going to manage this????

Like I said, GROSS.

Ahh...Vacation.



(This is NOT us camping, just a random friendly family.)

 Vacation has changed.

At least, for me. Growing up, our vacations usually fell into two categories--driving to Florida to visit my grandfather, or camping in either Northern New Hampshire or Maine.

We'd drive to FL every three years or so, pulling out of the driveway at four in the morning in our pink conversion van, with a cooler full of sandwiches and snacks so that we wouldn't have to stop unless someone's bladder was going to explode, or my dad couldn't keep his eyes open any longer.  When that happened, we'd pull into a trucker rest stop and my dad would "rest". Of course, the four of us had been dozing and cooped up in the car for hours, so we'd be wide awake and bouncing around, which is not really conducive to sleeping.  Then my mom would hop into the driver seat and white-knuckle it for a few hours, until Dad couldn't handle her driving and more and bark for her to pull over.  I don't think there was ever a single hotel stop or fast food meal (unless we drove through McDonald's and my parents ordered half a dozen hamburgers).

This all sounds dramatic, but mostly I have fond memories of our drives. This was before portable DVD players and iPods and even CD players.  We always sat in the same seats. Me, the oldest, in the middle left seat.  Next to me was Keegan, the youngest and only boy.  In the way back were my sisters, 20 months apart and either fighting or plotting at any given moment, with a pile of blankets and toys around them.  They would take turns putting their bare feet up over the seat and rubbing them on Keegan's buzz cut, saying, "pedicure, pedicure" while giggling hysterically. There was a LOT of farting going on during those trips. One year, Meggie brought a little boom box and a Bryan Adams tape...I've never felt quite the same about Bryan Adams since. I loved being awake in the night and driving through DC or Baltimore and taking in all the lights, or watching the sunrise, and listening to my parents talk. Mom always brought along Twizzlers and Junior Mints (until she choked on a Junior Mint while driving one year!). 

We'd make it to Florida in about 24 hours, stay with my Grandpa Jim for five days, and then do it all again on our way back to NH. I did this once, in college, with a group of rugby players. It was just as fun, probably more, except of course I had to help drive. :)

Then, there was the camping.

My parents were essentially poor hippies when we were really little. So we camped. Sometimes, it was on a whim, like when we camped up in the White Mountains in October, and it snowed. (Less fun.)  But for several years, we went to the same campground for a week every summer--Lake Pemaquid Campground in Damariscotta, Maine.  It. Was. Awesome.  I have a plethora of cousins, and their families would usually join us. There were little playgrounds all over the place, and campground store, and a big rock out in the middle of the lake that we could swim to and climb all over. We are tent campers (not RV campers, or cabin campers, but I think that if you read about our trips to Florida, you'd probably already figured that out).  Folks would bring their guitars and  lots and lots of booze, and after a dinner of hotdogs and s'mores, we'd play Yahtzee by citronella-candlelight and then the kids were shuttled off to bed and the adults would play music and drink by the fire, while an occasional skunk ran around. 

It was a lot of fun--we were old enough to run around on our own as long as we stuck together.  On the weekends there would be dances, and I may even have had my first ever kiss up there!

So, that was my vacation experience growing up.

Little did I know...

In the meantime, while I was spending 24 quality hours in the car with my family, or sleeping on rocks and eating "raw" (aka cold) hotdogs and not bathing, my wife, Kat, was vacationing in the Outer Banks of North Carolina.

I didn't even KNOW what the Outer Banks were six years ago, when I went on my first Thompson family vacation experience. We had driven down to Virginia to visit the in-laws for a week, and then caravaned from Richmond, VA to Avon, NC.  Driving with the Thompson clan is NOTHING like anything I'd ever experienced.  We'd drive for an hour, then ALL stop for breakfast/brunch. Then another hour, and it was a pee and snack break at McDonald's.  Then another pee break, then a stop for lunch, then a stop at the rest area at the top of the Banks. Then driving down the winding two-lane road nearly to the end, until we all stopped at the realtor's to pick up our keys. Then, finally, to the house.



Our 2011 beach house



THE HOUSE.

(If you recall, my vacations were spent in tents.)

My first Outer Banks house was three stories. It had (among other things) six bedrooms, six bathrooms, a pool table, two dishwashers, a pool, a hot tub, and an ELEVATOR. Our bathroom was big enough to keep the Pack n' Play in. We were a few hundred feet from the ocean (warm ocean with a sandy beach, very different from the ocean in Maine). 

It completely blew my mind.

While in the Outer Banks, we play at the pool in our backyard, or play in the ocean, or play in the sound. We visit the lighthouse and we go shopping. We eat a LOT of seafood (I'd never had crab legs before....AMAZING!) and we play a lot of board games. It's really the only time I drink coffee or alcohol. 

It's a whole different experience, and while I love it, some days I kind of miss the tent.

Kind of.

Legwarmers? Really?

I've always harbored this deep-seated desire to be an earthy-crunchy mom. (**No offense to any "real" earthy-crunchy moms is intended here, I just don't have a better adjective at the moment.) A breast-feeding, baby-wearing, cloth-diapering mama who makes my own baby food. The kind of mama whose kid is always a scraggly ragamuffin with a big grin on his or her face as he or she jumps around naked in a mud puddle or plays with homemade wooden blocks while dressed in a mama-made woolly sweater (or hat, or pants, or scarf, or really anything woolly and handmade). The kind of mama who takes my infants camping or hiking and co-sleeps in a family bed in a big pile of happy, sleeping bodies.

I'm not sure where this comes from--probably a lot of it comes from my own mom, and the way that I was raised. I'm sure over the years I've romanticized my upbringing...a little girl dancing around at bluegrass festivals, sleeping in a old VW while everyone partied all night long, helping "build" our house, not being allowed to have any sugar for the first 3 years of my life, etc. Also, I know a lot of earth-mama type folks, and I think they're really cool.

Unfortunately, like many of my hopes and dreams, this one ended up being kind of half-assed when it came to putting it into practice.

First of all, I didn't breast-feed. Major, major earth-mama no-no.

We didn't co-sleep at all. Ella was a prickly, independent little thing right from the start. She's been sleeping in her very own bedroom since she was about four weeks old. Believe me, it was better for all involved. When we do have to share a bed, it's torture! Ben was a little different, but again, if he was sleeping with us, then we weren't sleeping. If you know my wife, Kat, at all, then you know this was a very, very, very bad thing.

Next, we aren't exactly organic farmers. Hell, we're lucky if we pop open a can of green beans for dinner. Broccoli or corn on the cob are delicacies over here. No wonder my daughter is a picky eater...it's like the old anti-drug commercials, "I learned it by watching YOU," the kid says in an accusatory tone to the screaming parents waving around a bag of pot. OOPS!

I did invest in some baby-wearing gear. We bought a Baby Bjorn. Then a Moby Wrap. Then a Kelty backpack carrier. Then an Ergo. I loved the Moby Wrap....when I remembered it. The stroller, although bulky, seemed to offer more convenience. A place to put my latte, a place to put the diaper bag....

Then, with Ben, I got into cloth diapers. When I say "got into" I mean, became OBSESSED. I tried all different kinds. I spend hundreds of dollars (wasn't this supposed to save us money?). I bought BabyLegs because I thought they would be cute and crunchy with the cloth diapers (and they were!). I became active on diaper-swapping websites. I used baking soda and vinegar to get my diapers clean. I dried them in the sun. I LOVED cloth diapering and was really sad when we had to stop. It was the closest I've ever felt to being a true earthy-crunchy mom.

Speaking of BabyLegs...these are leg warmers for infants, and the original point of this post. Easier to change the kid without getting him entirely undressed, I think. The packaging touts them as warmers for all--full legs, shins, arms...they probably would even work as headbands. I bought a LOT of BabyLegs, in fun girly colors for Ella. I mean, who wouldn't want to wear leg warmers?

(Here is another reason why I kind of fail as an earth-mama. I also secretly want my daughter to be the kind of kid who dresses up in quirky outfits and wears tutus and glittery sunglasses to the grocery store.)

She's NOT that kind of kid, and believe me, it's not from lack of trying on my part.

But every once in a while, she'll surprise me. Like today. T-shirt, bike shorts, and a full skirt. Then, leg warmers. In JULY. I think it's my fault because I told her she didn't need any socks, and we're going through some power-struggle issues. So she put on leg warmers, and wore them all day long.

(Secretly, I was amused and not embarrassed at all.)

Two in row.

My daughter can be the greatest kid on the planet.

She's gorgeous, smart, and understands higher thinking. She "gets" sarcasm and can add double digit numbers in her head. She speaks in metaphors. She hangs out with all kinds of kids and stands up for the kids who aren't always included. She spends hours designing "stores" in her bedroom or inventing intricate play scenarios for us. She wants to rescue animals when she grows up.

However... (and you must have known this was coming, especially if you know Ella...)

She can also be the biggest brat on the planet.

Ella's first spoken word was "WHAT?!?" (with attitude). I'm not even kidding. We would joke about "oh no, we're in trouble..." and laugh. Little did we know...

She's moody, tempermental, clumsy. Oh, and did I mention STUBBORN?? When you ask her to whisper, she screams. When you ask her to help you out, she either refuses or spits on the floor in response. She plays the martyr to perfection. "You don't love me as much as you love Ben" is the constant refrain out of her mouth. She whines. ALL. OF. THE. TIME.

Today, Ben went down for his nap early, since he'd been up since 5:45 or some insane time. I told Ella I was going to take a shower, and she could watch something on PBS. This is our usual routine, and it works. EXCEPT...
I heard it coming up the stairs...the whine...a little bit of teariness in the voice...the two-syllabled "Mo-om" that makes me cringe....
Ella: "I'm hungry."
Mom: "Well, I can't really help you out right now. Look in the pantry for a snack."
A minute later, she's back up, screaming that she can't find anything. I suggest blueberries from the fridge.
Ella: "Don't you know anything? I'm not a fan of blueberries, reMEMber??"
Mom: "Well, I'll be out in five. Can you wait?"
Ella: "NO!" Leaves bathroom screaming.
Mom: (in a snake-like hiss) "Eleanor. GET. IN. HERE."
She screams from the hallway, outside of her brother's bedroom: "NO!"
In my deadliest whisper, I tell her that if she doesn't stop screaming/if she wakes her brother up, she will spend the rest of the morning in her bedroom.
Ella: "FINE. I DON'T CARE. YOU LOVE HIM MORE ANYWAY. AND YOU'RE STARVING ME." Then she runs back down the stairs "DON'T YOU DARE COME DOWN HERE MOMMY!"
I shrug, since the danger is passed and at least she's away from Ben's room.
Two minutes later, she's back in the bathroom, crying. Her bug bite itches, can I put some "carolina lotion" on it? Sure, I say, it's in my bedroom.
Ella: "MOM? I CAN'T FIND IT."
Mom: "Shhhhhh....it's right on the mantle."
Crash.

I end the shower, get dressed, and come down stairs. She's lying on the floor in front of the TV, quiet as a mouse. I throw the bag of raisin bread at her and leave her alone.

Did I mention she's my Doppleganger?