The Language Barrier. (or, How We've Taught Our Daughter to Swear)

**Disclaimer: there is some bad language in here. Please don't be offended.

Lately, Ben has been full of words. His vocabulary is exploding these days. He has a repetoire of typical words, which include:

Mama
Mommy
Ella (pronounced "Lella")
truck ("ruck")
alpaca
baby
tonight ("oo-nigh")
goodnight ("nigh-nigh")
book
moon
belly
nose ("no-eh")
more ("mo-eh")

various animal names and sounds

and many more that I can't remember right now...

He also will repeat almost anything we say.

Apparently, so will Ella.

The other day, we were driving in the car on the winding, bumpy road that brings us home from New Hampshire.  Whenever I drive on this road, a lone turkey runs in front of my car, and without fail, I always have to slam on my brakes to avoid hitting the beast. (Usually, I'm alone with the kids, so Kat hasn't experienced this before.)

On this day, Kat was driving, and we rounded the corner, and lo and behold, there was a turkey in the road.

Me: "Oh my God, that's the fucking turkey I was telling you about! I swear, the same fucking Goddamn turkey runs in front of my car every time I drive on this road!"
(I'm not sure why I was swearing like a sailor, except that perhaps I was surprised.)

Ella: "Why is there only one?"
Me: "Maybe it's lonely."
Kat: "Maybe someday we'll hit it and it won't be lonely anymore."
Me: "Maybe it will happen around Thanksgiving and we won't have to buy a turkey this year."

(This is a perfect example of why our kids are going to be weird.)

Ella: "Is that why it's a fucking damn turkey?"

Pause.

Kat: "What did you just say?"

Ella: "The fucking turkey. You know, the fucking damn one."

Pause.

Ella, confused: "I didn't say frigging, if that's what you're worried about."

(I should explain that this is not a new conversation. I'd like to put the onus of our daughter's potty-mouth onto my wife, but I'm not sure that's fair. For instance, Kat used to refer to the iPod touch as "the fucking little computer".  This had to stop when Ella started asking, innocently, if she could play with the "fucking computer". She (Ella) will also often refer to her bottom as her "ass" or tell us that she's doing a good job wiping her own ass/keeping her asshole clean. I think some of this comes from the way Kat talks to the cats. However (see above) I also am guilty of making poor vocabulary choices on occasion. Recently, in an effort to curb our language, we have tried to used "other" words in place of swear words, hence the "frigging" comment.)

Me: "What?"

Ella: "You know, you don't want me to say frigging. So I'm saying fucking. Fuck. That's not as bad, right?"

Oh dear. After I stopped laughing (actually crying with laughter...) I tried to explain why using the word "fuck" is not really appropriate. I'm pretty sure the damage is done, however.

At least Ben's words are still pure. For today. :)